10.17.

If I had it my way I would take a #2 pencil and erase all October 17th's off the calendar for the rest of time. Just go away, already. Enough. 

Today would have been my three year wedding anniversary. Gosh, that day was beautiful. It was every girl's dream. It was my dream. Our dream. Okay, no. It was MY dream, I just didn't know it at the time. I have literally played those vows over and over in my mind until it makes me sick. Just go away, already. Enough.

Today I am off. I feel off. I feel sad. Depressed. Angry. Sorry for myself. Sorry for my family. Sorry for my daughter. My peace for today is disrupted and I don't know how to make it stop. Do I pray? Do I cry? Do I ignore it? 

For now, I give myself permission to be sad. But, not for long. I will have to dig pretty deep for peace today, but dig I will. I think I will find it buried somewhere.

October 17th. I forgive you. I am letting you go. 

Peace be with you. 

I've literally sat down at my computer a dozen times over the past twelve months to start a blog. Each time I get completely distracted by Pinterest and Facebook, of course. Oh, or that sassy 17 month old who is toddling around. 

So, here we go...I actually followed through this time.The biggest challenge was a name. What the heck will I name my blog? I ran through tons of names and decided on,
"Falling into PEACE. "

What is peace? Well, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary peace is;

1: a state of tranquility or quiet: as

a : freedom from civil disturbance

b : a state of security or order within a community provided for by law or custom <a breach of the peace>

2: freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions

3: harmony in personal relations

4 a : a state or period of mutual concord between governments

b : a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity

In other words, as the magnet that has been living on my refrigerator for years, says:

For a year and a half, I've been seeking peace. Peace in my mind, my body, and my heart. If I am at peace, if I create a home built on peace, my daughter will thrive. We will thrive.

 With a battle or two under my belt, I am "Falling into PEACE."

Through this blog I hope to share the moments in our life that create peace and attempt to disrupt peace.

Stay tuned. Peace be with you.